Do you remember when you made your first choices? The ones that distinguished you from the rest?
I became vegetarian when I was 16 years old. At the time, I was still living with my parents My father was a butcher. I’d had a hernia in my digestive system, when I was 14. Meat, didn’t feel good in my stomach anymore.
Fast forward, almost 40 years and I’ve spent most of my life paying close attention to my diet, pampering it, eating healthy, taking care to eat well, lots of veggies, meat when I need it, very little processed foods or dairy. I paid attention.
and the next?
Then I became an acupuncturist.
18 years ago, after 9 years working as a massage therapist, I rolled up my sleeves and went back to school. I was in my 40’s . The program took 3 years to finish. I was elated when I was done.
I had spent 3 years of painstaking study, watching all my food, associating every physical complaint with some organ channel on my body, assessing all mental and emotional ‘stuff’ as related to my physical health. I was learning.
It’s been an incredible journey of helping people with their ailments, helping pregnant women give birth, helping infertile women get pregnant, helping women with postpartum depression, menstrual problems, and menopausal symptoms.
The joy of helping others has been both challenging and rewarding. I have invested my life in problem solving for people with difficult diseases. I have been helping people to not be burdened by, what they think is wrong with them, and to move on, beyond labels and limitations.
I have guided people I love to connecting with their soul again and align themselves and their values with what they love.
I have helped thousands of people improve their health, their diet, their awareness of their health, their bodies and their minds. I have helped them grow and to love.
and the times the Universe had it’s own plans
then I got sick.
I got so sick, doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me. I only trusted alternative and natural medicine at the time. My herbalist, who I travelled across the country, 2500 miles to see, could see there was something wrong but he couldn’t fix it. He said – he could keep me alive, but he couldn’t cure me.
So I went on that for 18 months while doctors, regular western doctors, battled with insurance agencies, fought for the right tests and couldn’t figure out what was going on. In the meantime, I was losing weight. I lost 35 pound in 6 months and nothing I did was gaining it back. I was tired, weak and in wonder about what was going on.
Finally, after waiting all that time, 3 years after I’d initially gotten sick, I was admitted to a hospital and the doctors got to the root of the problem. Whew! I had come so low and my body had suffered enough. It was time to recover the weight, my strength and my soul.
Where did you land?
All my life, I was in touch with that magical part of me I call my soul. I knew my soul’s longing. I knew what it took to live by my heart’s desires and my soul’s striving. I knew what it took – what sacrifices I made, to get to the truth of who I was, who I felt I had the capacity to be. And I knew how to share all I was with others.
Was it easy to get up again?
It was the first time in my life that I lacked my sense of direction. My compass was closed. I could no longer navigate between who I knew I was, who I definitely wasn’t and all that was in between. I’d been waiting and waiting so long, for the time to come when the world was ready for me to show myself and here I was, lost.
Did you feel alone?
Gradually, step by step, I’d resigned to this falling apart and now, with the grace of something much greater than myself, I was able to pull myself up by the bootstraps and learn how to retouch my soul, how to get in touch with myself again, on such a deep level and to dive into that place of self love and self acceptance.
How did you get back to yourself?
It wasn’t easy. It took time.
This is how I did it.
I started playing piano, again.
That’s where my soul lived. This is a place I love, where my heart flies open and expresses itself, 1 note at a time. I fell in love with that space.
Next, I started working with my patients.
I started to see them again and love them and bring out the best of what I had to offer. Helping them is a place where my soul speaks. Words I didn’t know would come to my lips and I could gather thoughts and words and phrases they would understand and make them feel better, about themselves and help them feel love.
I’d been unable to look myself in the mirror, every day for 3 years.
It was frightening to see how I looked back. I decided to loosely pay attention to my own sense of loving, myself, in the mirror, as I worked hard and ate enough to gain back that 35 pounds. I had to get my strength back.
I resigned myself to knowing, there is so little we have in life, truly have, and what is left is precious beyond words.
My soul and my wisdom grow. I’m no longer gathering moss around what I think I’m supposed to do, what I think might work to help someone. I know, from experience, all we have is the love in our heart and the gratitude to feel that, know that and share it with others. As long as I have that, I have everything.
These days, I have learned the hard and heavy pace of a soul surviving in this life. There is so little we have to share that really means anything, that can really change anyone’s life.
That’s why I’m writing this today.
You have the power to live your life from your soul level – to be all you can be, all you choose, every day, every minute, every hour.
Choose that. Life is nothing if not your choices. Choose to live out your greatest parts.
I’ll bet you never go back.